You gotta sing sing sing

Desperate headlines call for musical measures

The news makes me mad. It enrages me and leaves me in despair. Sometimes I think the world is too shagged up to ever be fixed, or for anyone to even bother trying.

It’s in these hopeless moments I turn to show tunes. Nothing makes the unfathomable news of the day bearable like turning it into a favourite musical number. For some reason, things don’t seem so bad when you sing them.

Belt it out

Try it while driving.  If someone cuts you off, try singing ‘You cut me off’ to the tune of Let it Be. It would go like this… “You cut me off. You cut me off. You cut me off. You cut me off. I’d like to slash your tires. You cut me off. Woooo.” It’s very therapeutic.

Just take a handful of your most miserable, most intelligence-defying current events and shove them through the musical sausage grinder. Voila! You have a snappy little tune that’ll keep your toes tapping and help you cope with the things you can’t believe are really happening.

Today I’ve chosen a classic for those of you who love The Sound of Music. For those of you who don’t, you really need to hear my friend Tim sing selected numbers with the enhancement of helium. That’ll get you!

You may choose to “solve a problem like Maria” all through Question Period. For me, the oom pah pah of My Favourite Things is just what I need. It’s got that pathologically cheery sentiment and relentless, wacky waltz rhythm I love. Just try to be defeated and pessimistic.

Everybody now, one two three, two two three…

Scandal with Oda and the nots that are missing
Overplayed star’s meltdown and the women he’s dissing
Journalists who are hustled out before they ask a thing
These aren’t a few of my favourite things

A judge and his ruling and the victim it bashes
Guys who are evil and know where the cash is
A crazy dictator with his country in slings
These aren’t a few of my favourite things

When excuses bite
When the Speaker stings
When the PM makes me mad

I remember for whom the election bell rings,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Senate appointments that stock up on Tories
Ministers who won’t rescue our folks in dories
No more statistics about us or anything
These aren’t a few of my favourite things

When campaign funds
Make the milk run
When I’m feeling had

I simply remember Michaelle Jean and seal,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Ahhh

Doesn’t that feel better? You can take comfort knowing there are as many musical possibilities as there are atrocious things that appear in the news. Imagine what you could do with Grease or Phantom of the Opera or Cats.

You’ve got your musical arsenal. So get out there and take on the corrupt, the unbelievable, and the absurd. You may want to add a few dance moves too.

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