[DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction.]
INTERIOR. DAY. THE PREMIER’S OFFICE.
Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Dwight Ball sits at his desk, leaning back in his chair. His Chief of Staff, Greg Mercer, sits opposite.
Dwight: I think this is the way to go, I was comfortable with Gordie. I miss the guy.
Greg: Yeah, he has a way of explaining issues that, I dunno, makes me feel good.
Dwight: Power of positive thinking.
Greg: Tom Osborne is really into that too, you know, visualizing outcomes to make them happen.
Dwight: I’m picturing Seamus driving up to Confederation Building with a big truck load of federal money. What are you seeing, Greg?
Greg closes his eyes and ponders for a moment.
Greg: Hot turkey sandwich.
Greg opens his eyes.
Dwight: Dressing?
Greg: Ya knows.
Dwight: All about the dressing.
Greg: So we are hiring Gordie as… some kind of consultant?
Dwight: No, Nalcor is.
Greg: I’ll call Brendan Paddick, give him the news.
Dwight: Yeah, don’t mention this to Stan Marshall just yet.
Greg: Okay.
Dwight: I know Stan is a top man in the field but he does have a way of making a fellow feel dim.
Greg: I hear you.
Dwight: No worries this is going to look like more cronyism?
Greg: “I Am In Blood Stepp’d In So Far”
Dwight: Wha?
Greg: In for a penny, in for a pound?
Dwight: Right, gotcha. And, I mean, everyone deserves a decent job right?
Greg: Absolutely, Premier.
Minister of Natural Resources Siobhan Coady enters.
Siobhan: Wassssup!
Dwight: Wassssup!
Greg: Hello minister.
Dwight: You look tired, Siobhan.
Siobhan: I was up all night worrying about the price of oil.
Dwight: Ever try Zaleplon? Lights out, Sister.
Siobhan: Thanks for the tip, Premier.
Dwight: Greg and I were just talking about how we are bringing Gordon McIntosh back in the mix.
Siobhan: That would be nice, he’s always made me feel optimistic about things.
Greg: We’ll get Nalcor to hire him.
Siobhan: I know nuth-zing, I hear nuth-zing.
Greg: Sorry?
Dwight: Sergeant Shultz, Greg b’y! “Hogan’s Heroes”? That’s a good imitation, Siobhan.
Greg: I’m sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about.
Dwight: It was a television show. Before your time I guess.
Minister of Advanced Education, Skills, and Labour Chris Mitchelmore enters, clicking his heels. Salutes.
Chris: MR. PREMIER, SIR!
Dwight: At ease, Chris. What can we do for you?
Chris: I just got off the phone with Judy, Mr. Premier.
Dwight: Yes?
Chris: She’s heard about this new consultancy position and is wondering why Carla wasn’t considered.
The Independent is 100% funded by its readers. Your pay-what-you-can subscription or one-time donation provides a base of revenue to keep our bills paid and our contributors writing. For as little as $5 a month, you can fund the future of journalism in Newfoundland and Labrador. Together, let’s #UpTheIndy!